Tha WaPo is pointing to this anonymous letter written in 1976 to celebrate the 4th of July.
I have annotated it for 2008.
More below
What am I?
I am a free man -- a good and decent man -- a man of compassion, generosity, and understanding -- a true friend, a steadfast ally, and a bitter foe.
(But I reserve the right to deny that freedom to homosexuals in matters of their heart and those who I designate enemy combatants. I have no compassion for the poor brown immigrant (perhaps illegal) who bakes under our sun picking our vegetables)
I owe my allegiance to a government founded in the belief that among the rights of man are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Indeed, I would acknowledge no other. (But only for people who look like me. For others, I have Gitmo where their liberty is at the mercy of my say so)
I can redress my government for injury; (unless it is telecom companies illegally spying on me) not satisfied with redress, I can elect a new one.(who might well do the same thing as the previous one) I have watched my government function smoothly during periods of transfer of power caused by re-election, (except in 2000) assassination, and resignation.
While other nations have a distinct race, religion, and/or geographic denominator, I live among people of my home without fear of intrusion by anyone -- citizen or government designee -- unless they have my personal invitation or a duly authorized search warrant. ( or a letter from the Attorney General)
I have a press to keep me informed -- a press free to write, without inhibition, the truth as they see it. A press that needs fear no repression, no retaliation, no censorship so long as it prints the truth. (Hmmmppppffffflt! Sorry, need to change my keyboard now)
I live under a system of justice, merciful and fairly administered, where I am assumed innocent until proven guilty -- a system which provides me appellate privilege while denying it to the power of the state. (except during times of war when I will surrender habeas corpus, which is all the time)
I am free to go anywhere I want, earn my living in any way that suits me and, based on that freedom, I have created a standard of living unequalled in the history of man and envied the world over. (which I have now completely pissed away by borrowing like crazy from the Chinese)
I have suffered in humility at the consequences of my mistakes -- economic deprivation, social injustice, unequal opportunity and racial prejudice to name a few -- but, once aware of these mistakes, I have set out to right the wrongs they created. (What? You think I am made of keyboards?)
I have faced challenges to my way of life. I have fought and died countless times from Lexington and Concord to Vietnam. I was humbled at Valley Forge, Pearl Harbor, Corregidor and Malmady. But these experiences gave me the character I needed to go to Yorktown, Gettysburg, Midway and Normandy. I cherish my freedom above all else -- I bow to no tyrant. (except the one I call my President and now I die all the time and surrender all my rights because otherwise the Terrorists win)
I am two hundred years old today. I have never been so proud of my ancient heritage, so grateful for my present situation, and so confident of the future. Today, I reaffirm my allegiance to, faith in, and love of my country. To the proposition that government of the ( rich ) people, by the ( rich ) people, for the ( rich ) people, shall not perish from the earth, I do humbly pledge my life (in Iraq and Afghanistan) , my fortune (to Wall Street ), and my sacred honor. ( to Guantanamo Bay)
I am used to be an American.